Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize