My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The air was thick with penises
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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