when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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