Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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