Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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