You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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