You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We had to coat check the pizza.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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