So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
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He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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