Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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