He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize