the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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