Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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