My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize