trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize