Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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