Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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