This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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