Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize