i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize