My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize