Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize