Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize