No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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