whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize