I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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