Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Whore.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I was being facetious

(540): View more from Virginia

Don't try to hide behind big words.

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(540): Whore. (832): I was being facetious (540): Don't try to hide behind big words. http://tfl.nu/w180

Replies (2) Good night (1983) Bad night (518)
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(702): View more from Nevada

That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!

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(702): That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked! http://tfl.nu/4dq3

Replies (53) Good night (686) Bad night (5302)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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(770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708

Replies (17) Good night (4871) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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(309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath

Replies (10) Good night (10934) Bad night (842)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(313): Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about http://tfl.nu/rnip

Replies (3) Good night (3485) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing

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(845): So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing http://tfl.nu/1y41

Replies (5) Good night (6306) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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(801): stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation http://tfl.nu/ct0r

Replies (16) Good night (2487) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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(858): View more from California

I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha

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(858): I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha http://tfl.nu/4cqn

Replies (4) Good night (1600) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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(314): At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving? http://tfl.nu/o7j4

Replies (10) Good night (4197) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.

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(630): I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now. http://tfl.nu/zvll

Replies (7) Good night (657) Bad night (1810) Order T-Shirt
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(+27): View more from South Africa

I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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(+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby

Replies (7) Good night (643) Bad night (1042)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

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(610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx

Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (971)
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(972): View more from Texas

He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.

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(972): He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex. http://tfl.nu/pe6j

Replies (6) Good night (1084) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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(775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie

Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Whats your number? 5 or more?

(973): View more from New Jersey

Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.

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(512): Whats your number? 5 or more? (973): Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/b76i

Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (564)

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