i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize