dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize