She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize