if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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