Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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