break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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