2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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