Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize