Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize