Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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