I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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