I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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