i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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