So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize