just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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