After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize