He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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