A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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