sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize