I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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