We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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