WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize