so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
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That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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