i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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