dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
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Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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